Beyond the White Coat: Reconnecting with Your True Identity
When I saw the six faces appear on the ZOOM screen, I didn’t see six accomplished physicians in their mid-60’s. Instead, I saw six young friends who used to work together, play together, and support each other through four of the most challenging years of our lives.
This was a meeting of the planning committee for my 40th medical school reunion. I never knew these people as doctors, much less the wise professors, researchers, and clinicians they had become over the past 40 years. While their patients, students, and colleagues now call them by their professional titles, to me, they are still teammates on our intramural football team, actors in our class skits, and drinking companions after a tough final exam.
It struck me how deeply physicians are defined by their profession. From the moment we earn our degree, the title “Doctor” follows us everywhere—sometimes as a badge of honor, other times as a burden. It represents years of hard work and the trust society places in us. But it can also become a mask, hiding the very person who chose this path in the first place.
The Power—and Weight—of a Title
I remember growing up in a middle-class neighborhood where all my friends’ parents were addressed as “Mr.” or “Mrs.”—unless, of course, they were doctors. If someone had that title, it wasn’t just an option to use it; it was expected. Calling Dr. Smith “Mr. Smith” would have been unthinkable, a sign of deep disrespect. Even as children, we understood that being a doctor wasn’t just a job—it was an identity, one that set them apart.
That same sense of identity follows us throughout our careers. While being a physician comes with deep fulfillment, it also carries expectations—both external and internal. We strive to be the tireless helper, the dedicated healer, the one who always has the answers. Over time, this role can consume our sense of self, leaving little room for the person behind the title.
Reclaiming Your Authentic Self
So how do we stay connected to who we really are—beyond the white coat? Here are a few ways to maintain your sense of self while still embracing your role as a physician:
Let Go of the Title When It’s Not Needed – While “Doctor” commands respect, it shouldn’t be the foundation of every relationship. It’s okay to be known simply by your first name in spaces outside of work.
Nurture Relationships Unrelated to Medicine – Cultivate friendships where your value isn’t tied to your profession. Whether it's through sports, music, parenting, or shared adventures, these connections remind you of who you are beyond your job.
Engage in Reflective Practices – Whether it’s journaling, meditation, or time in nature, intentional self-reflection can help you reconnect with the deeper parts of yourself.
Next week, when I gather with my former classmates at our reunion, we won’t be calling each other “Doctor.” We’ll be sharing old stories, remembering lost friends, and enjoying the simple joy of being together. For one weekend, we won’t be physicians—we’ll just be us.
What helps you stay in touch with your true identity beyond the title of Doctor?