Reversing the Negativity Bias
As a pediatrician, I cherish the free spirit and curiosity that children display.
Last week, while taking a walk around my neighborhood with a good friend, we passed by a woman playing with young children in her front yard. We started talking about our neighborhood, how long we had lived here, and the influx of families with young kids moving into the area. I mentioned that my kids were all grown up now and how much I missed their imaginative early years.
She looked at me closely, as if recognizing me, and asked, "Didn't you used to work at Hope Central Pediatrics?" She went on to explain that she brought her son there about a year ago when he was very sick, and I was the doctor who saw him. I had been filling in for a friend on vacation. She told me how impressed she was with the patience and compassion I showed her son, and how kind and funny he thought I was. After that visit, he asked if I could be his regular pediatrician. She had to explain that I was only there for that one day and reminded him how much he liked his primary doctor.
Hearing this warmed my heart and brought a big smile to my face. I thanked her for sharing this story and expressed how much it meant to me to receive such a heartfelt compliment. I explained that I now coach other doctors, helping them find the same joy in their work that I experienced that day with her son. We said our goodbyes, and my friend and I continued our walk.
As a primary care pediatrician, most of my days were filled with seeing patients, responding to phone messages from concerned parents, addressing urgent issues, and completing charting. I'm sure I received many compliments and expressions of gratitude from my patients and their parents, which I often brushed off as just part of my job. At the end of the day, I would dwell on the few interactions where I felt I might have fallen short, or the rare occasion of a parent being upset with me.
Our natural negativity bias often prevents us from seeing our positive qualities and amplifies anything that doesn't go well, even if others don't notice it. Our medical training reinforces this bias as a dominant motivator for learning, but it can lead to burnout. In reality, we are more likely to perform at our best and be more attentive to our patients if we emphasize the positive and show ourselves compassion for the negative.
I often suggest to my coaching clients, who feel overwhelmed by productivity and administrative pressures, to reflect each day on one positive experience. Perhaps it was a kind word of thanks from a patient, an opportunity to apply their skills to help someone feel better, or recognition from a colleague of a particular gift or talent. Focusing on the positive, combined with self-compassion for the times we fall short of our expectations, can gradually build a more positive mindset and change our perspective.
This practice is not a quick fix, and it doesn’t make up for any flaws in the systems we work in. However, it can gradually help us recognize those moments of connection throughout the day that sustain us and remind us why we became doctors in the first place.
Be kind to yourself.
-Dr. Joe