Learning from Our Life Decisions
It was spring of my senior year of college. I sat in my family’s living room surrounded by close friends who had driven five hours from campus to attend my father’s funeral. Several of them had made the same trip just five months earlier for my mother’s funeral.
I was lost, confused, sad, and angry - trying to make decisions that would shape the rest of my life. Should I return to campus to finish the last month of college and graduate? Or should I pause and take time to absorb what had just happened? Should I “go with the plan” and attend medical school that fall, or take a year off to reflect on how losing both parents within five months might alter my path?
There were no student support programs or counselors waiting to guide me, no therapist or family member offering advice. I felt alone and afraid. Yet, looking around that room, I realized I was not truly alone. These were the people who knew me best—who didn’t try to fix anything, but simply listened, cried with me, and offered unconditional acceptance.
In the end, I went with the plan. I returned to campus, graduated, and entered medical school that fall. There was no great epiphany—just the next step forward.
The years that followed were difficult. I wrestled with self-doubt and second-guessing. I often compared myself to friends who had chosen other paths—teaching, counseling, ministry—and imagined their lives were easier or more fulfilling. Still, I pressed on, and what helped me most was surrounding myself with people who let me bring my whole self—my doubts, my emotions, my hopes—into our shared experience.
Over the decades since that crossroads, I’ve encountered many similar moments of uncertainty. Each time, I’ve leaned on trusted companions and the growing sense of an internal compass—an inner voice that has become stronger with practice. It’s not perfect (none of us are), but I’ve learned that self-compassion is what allows that compass to stay true, even when we take a wrong turn.
Many of my coaching clients find themselves at similar crossroads. Some question their original decision to become physicians—wondering if they chose this path for themselves or for someone else’s expectations. Others still feel called to medicine but can no longer ignore the gap between what they imagined and what they’re living.
What I remind them—and myself—is this:
We all make the best decisions we can with the information and self-awareness we have at the time. Our choices, even the difficult ones, shape who we are becoming. The goal isn’t to regret or rewrite them, but to learn from them—to listen more deeply to that inner voice that grows clearer with each step forward.
If you find yourself at a crossroads and long for a trusted listener to help you reconnect with that inner compass, I invite you to reach out for a complimentary consultation. You can schedule a time here.
Be kind to yourself,
Dr. Joe
Pediatrician, Physician Professional Development Coach, Retreat Facilitator
Just contact me at joe@joeshermanmd.com or schedule a free video consultation.